Genetic Monsters

If you're walking downtown and you happen to notice dozens of walking pituitary glands oiled up, wearing thongs and devouring all the lean meat in sight, it would be reasonable to assume that we've been invaded by a master race bent on world domination. But before you go home, barricade your door with the sofa and load your shotgun, remember that today is the 2008 NPC Muscle Mayhem Body Building, Fitness & Figure Championships. The host hotel is the downtown Marriott; the competition itself brings lots of huge, veiny muscles to the Folly Theater (300 West 12th Street, 816-474-4444). To ensure that the manliness of all this is underscored, the top five placement winners will receive swords, whereas the overall winners will receive a custom Muscle Mayhem Coat of Arms. Along with the bodybuilding championships, there's a Mayhem Maiden Model Search, which means male and female eye candy will be on display. Judging starts at 11 a.m. The finals are at 7 p.m. Ticket prices range from $12 to $300, depending on show time, proximity and whether you want a private opera box.
Sat., May 24, 7 p.m., 2008